


The Not-Quite-Legal Lives of Hackers and Assassins

by SilentWaves



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Akabane Karma is a Little Shit, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Assassin Karma, Established Relationship, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, and that's the whole reason i wrote this, hacker asano gakushuu, i love how that's a tag, karma will not relent when it comes to milkshakes... apparently, more specifically korosensei is alive, the relationship is a minor part of the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22275604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentWaves/pseuds/SilentWaves
Summary: In which Karma is an assassin and Gakushuu is the hacker who works with him.Also, they're dating, but that's less important.
Relationships: Akabane Karma & Asano Gakushuu, Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu
Comments: 10
Kudos: 228
Collections: Silver and Gold





	The Not-Quite-Legal Lives of Hackers and Assassins

**Author's Note:**

> ok I got a sudden urge to write a story where Gakushuu becomes a hacker and thus... this was born. 
> 
> Please note that this story is NOT relationship-centric. It's literally just shenanigans, but I hope it's still a fun read!

“Turn left here” Gakushuu says through Karma’s earpiece. 

“Didn’t you say there was a heat sensor that way?” Karma whispers back.

“I just disabled it.”

Karma turns, and continues through the vent to the dining room, where his victim should be starting dinner.

“Shuu, find me the nearest exit. I can’t continue through here, there’s a drop” Karma says.

“Why? You scared of heights now?” Gakushuu responds, teasing. 

“No, it’ll just be too loud when I land, dumbass,” 

Gakushuu laughs, “I know. Keep going, and then turn right at the intersection after this one,”

“Alright. I see the way out. Where am I landing?”

“In the back of the storage room. Is that good with you?”

Karma hears the clicking of a mouse on Gakushuu’s end. 

“Yeah, I’ll just sneak the poison into the food before it’s served.”

“Perfect. I’ll tell you when the chefs are done in there, and when it’s safe to drop down.”

“ETA?”

“7 minutes, judging by the food prep time,”

“In that case,” Karma shifts into a more comfortable position. “How about we go to that new diner in town after this? I’ve heard _very_ good things about their milkshakes.”

“You’re not allowed to have any more milkshakes, Karma.” Gakushuu sighs. “Korosensei gave you an explicit order to cut down on your sugar intake,”

“Aww, but babe, that’s why I have you around,” Karma bites back a grin. “You’re so bitter all the time you balance out all the sweets I eat,”

“So you admit you’re eating more sweets than you should be.”

“So you’re not denying the fact that you’re bitter.” 

“I know _perfectly well_ that-” and Gakushuu stops talking, because he sees something on the security cameras that he hijacked. Karma tenses, and prepares himself for danger.

Someone is coming into the storage room, but the footsteps sounded nothing like those of any of the chefs. 

“ ** _I smell a rat_** ” A low voice reverberates through the room. Karma’s target. “ _ **Who’s after my diamond?**_ ”

“Karma.” Gakushuu says over the sound of quick keyboard strokes. “I’ve found three potential escape routes from your current location with a 26% chance of danger, but you don’t need to worry. Remember, all the details about Benedict Rosso was in your file, and I’ve just fact-checked them. My recommendation is to stay where you are and remain absolutely quiet,”

A worker approaches the target. “Yes sir! We will capture the intruder right away, sir!”

“ _ **And the rat from this morning, what became of him?**_ ” 

“Currently rotting away in the dungeons, sir!”

Karma moves slowly to sign to Gakushuu over his attached camera, not wanting to make any sound, “did Teyzo hire another hitman for our job? No-one else knows about the stolen diamond.”

“No. I think that fire accident from 2 years ago might have made our target a tad senile. His son was probably the real perpetrator who stole the diamond, and Benedict probably kept it instead of selling it off as a memento of him,” Gakushuu responds. “I’m looking at the video feeds and blueprints now. They don’t even _have_ dungeons.”

Karma bites his lip to stifle a snort, and signs “false alarm, then?” 

“Yes, but stay alert. You don’t know if he’s paranoid enough to actually hire a guard,”

The workers are ushering the target away, and Karma was sure they’re far out of earshot before he speaks.

“I could handle him” 

“You better not be getting cocky on me now. You know how dangerous that is”

“Oh, I can get cocky on you all-”

“Shh!” Gakushuu interrupts. “The waiter is coming back. He’ll be within hearing distance soon,”

Karma pouts a bit, because the opportunity for that line had been handed to him on a silver platter, and he _lives_ for Gakushuu’s flustered responses when he can’t come up with a good comeback.

Gakushuu shares a video feed of the kitchen. The waiter was walking back inside the kitchen and talking to a chef when Karma felt a single light pulse against his wrist, a signal of an update on the mission. 

“Read it to me” Karma signs slowly.

“There’s no more need to kill the target. The reward will not change. And… He needs us to also take the stolen diamond back,” Gakushuu reads outloud.

Karma held up a middle finger to the camera.

“Yeah. Fucking Teyzo, changing the mission so late. Whatever, I’ll send you directions to the diamond later. Wait there while Okuda works on a replica diamond and I send it in to you,”

Karma nods once, slow and exaggerated enough that he’s sure Gakushuu got the message.

“Until then, I’ll see what traps they’ve planned,” Gakushuu says, and the sound of keystrokes pick up again.

“Save some action for me, Shuu” Karma signs, only half-joking. “Keep a few active, so this mission isn’t totally dull,”

“Bullshit. I’m not going to deliberately put you in danger, and Okuda agrees. If there’s a trap that can’t be deactivated, I’ll figure out a way.”

“Yeah, Karma-san,” Okuda cuts in. “Gakushuu-kun has a point. Unless we’re on a time limit, you should do your best to stay out of trouble.”

“How’s the fake diamond coming along?” Karma signs, and Gakushuu translates it for Okuda.

“Fine. Ideally, we finish before people get suspicious of the van here, so I’m doing it as fast as I can without it becoming too suspiciously fake,” Okuda responds.

Karma gives a thumbs up.

“Ok, she just needs to wait for the mixture to settle, and then I’ll send a drone with it to these coordinates,” Gakushuu sends a message to Karma’s wearable video feed (Karma refuses to call them high-tech glasses, ‘cause his vision is fine and he’s not a nerd like _some people_ ). 

Karma gives another thumbs up, and begins to move when he’s sure that he won’t be heard.

“You’re out of earshot now,” Gakushuu says after a few minutes. “Is the map working alright on your feed?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. But speaking of which, your next project should be to make them look less nerdy. Should be an easy fix, but I guess you can’t see well enough to know for sure,” Karma grinned. The truth is, Gakushuu looks just fine in his glasses, but it’s crazy hard to kiss trying to maneuver around the metal, so Karma holds a bit of a grudge.

“Well if you’re so intent on showing off your 20/20 vision, you’d be able to see that your glasses suit you perfectly. I would know,” Gakushuu scoffs.

“Uh, no. The geek look does _not_ work for me, thankyouverymuch,”

“You don’t look like a geek. Maybe a librarian, or a scholar… Oh, you need to climb here now, the drone will arrive in 142 seconds.”

“I think a librarian or a scholar is worse,” Karma pulls out his Korosensei-based suction cups, and begins to climb. “I’m an assassin, if you forgot.”

“You’re also legally dead, and I’m under no obligation to listen to ghosts.”

“This is the 8th time you’ve used that excuse since you wiped my records. You can’t keep using that as a comeback, I won’t count it anymore.”

“Whatever, I am _so sorry_ for hacking into every government data system you’ve appeared in and wiping your _entire_ file clean,”

“Ugh, I get it, you’re a hacker and a tech genius. You win.” Karma sees the drone, and carefully scouts the area before approaching it. 

“...nerd” Karma whispers before Gakushuu could respond. 

“I am not a- Okuda, do I seem like a nerd to you?” Karma smiles. He could almost hear Gakushuu’s back crack from how fast he turned around. 

“N-No? I mean… a little? You _do_ spend most of your time on computers…“ Okuda says.

“That’s not the definition of a nerd.” Gakushuu retorts.

“What are you going to do, search up the definition on Urban Dictionary? Cause you’ll see your face on the page,” Karma let out a quiet snigger, because he already hears Gakushuu’s fingers flying to pull up the website.

“By definition, a nerd is an individual who: 1. Enjoys learning 2. Does not adhere to social norms, or one whose IQ exceeds his weight,” Gakushuu says. “If that was true, we’d all be nerds, you shits.”

Karma and Okuda just laugh as Karma makes his way back into the vents.

“Where now, Gakushuu the non-nerd?” Karma asks.

Gakushuu sighs, “I’m sending you a drop location. It’s the safest one, since the others lead right into traps. This one will lead you to a few obstacles, but I’ll help you out.”

“I’m going out for Korosensei’s meds. I’m walking, so it’ll take around 10-20 minutes before I come back. Don’t try to contact me, I’m going under a pseudonym,” Okuda says into Gakushuu’s mic.

“Bye, don’t take too long.”

“I’ll try. But you never know how bad the pharmacy’s going to be.” Okuda laughs, and Karma hears the van door close.

“Alright, I’m here now,” Karma listens for footsteps, then gently opens the vent grate.

“The first thing is a set of lasers. I’ve set them to be visible, but I first need to turn off all the alarm systems that’ll make them aware of alterations to the security. Don’t worry, they’re not dangerous, they just set off alarms.”

“Alright, you work on disabling alarms, I’ll start going through this.”

Karma finds this the most therapeutic part of his missions, funnily enough. Focusing on just the task at hand knowing that Gakushuu ensured nobody will show up. His steps accompanied by the familiar typing sounds and occasional beeps to notify Gakushuu of his success. The cool ventilation from his bodysuit to ensure no sweat is left behind as evidence makes Karma feel like all the hitmen from the movies, and nothing has ever felt more comfortable. 

Karma weaves through the lasers smoothly and comes out the other end of the hallway unscathed. 

“Ok. From here, I can disable any digital traps without being tracked. Watch out for any manual traps though,” Gakushuu says.

“Thanks. What’s next?”

“Electric eel tank. Don’t get any water on you at all. I don’t know the specifics, but I’m getting abnormal readings of the air, so it might conduct electricity outside of the water too,”

“Right, well that’s fine then. I’ll climb across from the ceiling,” Karma straps on his suction cups again. “And by the way, you _technically_ never disagreed to going to the new diner, so we’re going there after.”

“No, we’re definitely not doing that.”

“You’re not even a _little_ curious about the milkshakes?” 

“No.”

“ _Come on_ , Shuu! This is definitely enough physical exercise to make up for the sugar that I’ll have later. Korosensei won’t even notice!” 

“Just because he’s no longer capable of walking does not mean he can’t still kick your ass if he wanted.”

It’s true. Since the surgery to remove the antimatter from Korosensei’s body, he’s never quite had the same mobility as even when he was human, but he was still capable of mentally tormenting (but Karma supposes it’s really not torment) all his students in the daytime, and all his employees in the nighttime. 

Nagisa had decided against becoming an assassin working under Korosensei, but only because Korosensei talked him into working as his teacher’s assistant instead. They were hoping to become a branch of the government (like a ‘cool secret hitmen team’ according to Korosensei), but they figured having the public know the monster who destroyed the moon is still alive and active wouldn’t be good for their image. 

So Korosensei started his own assassination service, since there’s still plenty of monsters in the world, except they have human faces, and brought on his former students as the first hires of his (very slightly illegal) company. 

“But then that just means I have to shoot him a text message before we go,” Karma jumps to the other side of the tank, very much not shocked. 

“No, that’s not what it means. I can bring him into this call, if you want, and you can ask him right now.”

“You won’t do that, you’re too scared of him,”

Gakushuu sputtered. “I’m _not_ ”

“Uh, you refuse to make eye contact with him.”

“Because he doesn’t open his eyes. You told me those were his nostrils.”

“Yeah, we all stare there anyways. You also don’t deny his orders even though we’re missing out on some bomb-ass milkshakes because of it.”

“He’s a mach 20 monster. Who wouldn’t be scared of him after hearing about that year he was your teacher?” 

“That was _literally_ forever ago. He’s just a regular guy now, and you definitely know that. Connect him into our call.”

“Wait, first get back onto the ceiling. There’s a hidden hole leading straight to the basement spanning this room. There’s a certain time of day where a path will activate, but there’s no way for me to change that without alerting anyone. Just climb over it.”

“Got it. And if you’re not going to ring up Korosensei, just take me to the diner, yeah? That way you don’t have to face your fear _and_ we can get the best goddamn milkshakes you've ever had.”

“...fine”

“Ha! My win!” 

Karma could almost hear Gakushuu roll his eyes, an affectionate yet annoyed response. 

“You’re done with all the traps now, just wait for me to give you clearance for the vault,” Gakushuu says.

“Got it.”

“You still have the replica diamond that Okuda made?”

“Right here,” Karma pats his backpack. 

“Great,” Gakushuu says as the doors slide open. 

“Is there anything I should watch out for? Any cameras? Motion detectors?” Karma looks around and pulls up his hood further. 

“No. I’ve deactivated them all already. There might be a guard though, so don’t talk anymore. There’s a lot of blind spots with these cameras on everything except the ones fixed on the gem, so I’ll be relying on your attached camera.”

Karma gives a quick thumbs up, and enters the room slowly.

He’s weaving through the shadows, quiet and fast. There’s a suspicious lack of guards in the room, considering the worth of the diamond that it’s storing, so Karma’s more cautious than ever. 

“Hey guys, I’m back. What happened while I was out?” Okuda’s voice suddenly appeared on Gakushuu’s end of the call.

“Nothing much,” Gakushuu responded with a sigh. “But we are going for milkshakes after, because Karma’s a whiny piece of shit.”

Karma holds up a middle finger to his camera.

Okuda laughs, “I’m not surprised, Gakushuu-kun, you always give in to Karma so easily when you’re not competing!” 

“...whatever.”

Karma smiles at the obvious reluctance in Gakushuu’s voice, but it’s true. He’s always had a bit of weakness towards not giving into Karma’s demands, unless it involved Gakushuu ‘losing’ in any way. 

“You got Korosensei’s medication?” Gakushuu asks.

“Yup. It took a lot less time than I thought, which was surprising considering that it’s only evening.”

“No-one followed you back here, right?” 

“Obviously not,” Okuda snorts. “What kind of amateur do you take me for?” 

Karma rounds a corner, and immediately steps back. He signs an alert to the camera. 

“Shit. I’ll bring in some bugs so we can get a visual on the room. Were you spotted?” Gakushuu begins typing.

Karma shakes his head no, but moves to a more secure hiding space just to be safe. 

“If you’re gonna fight, you better not spill any blood, you got that?” Okuda says into the mic. “Or else we’ll have to send someone in to clean it up!” 

“He seems like an easy win,” Karma signs, and Gakushuu translates it for Okuda.

“You don’t know that, idiot” Gakushuu says. Karma hears the mouse click a few times. “The bugs are in place and functional. I have a live video feed and I can tell you his profile,” 

Karma takes out a knife, his best weapon. 

“Don’t use anything that’ll make noise. There are other guards stationed around the room. If possible, avoid a fight and go for a knockout. In your bag there should be-” Gakushuu begins speaking.

Karma waves to interrupt. “Got it. I have sleeping gas here. I’ll use that,” he signs. 

Karma sneaks around the corner again, when Gakushuu gives him the clear to move, and positions a sleeping gas bomb inside a fan. He puts his mask on and pulls the trigger. It’s not noiseless, so Karma picks up a nearby loose nail and throws it into another air conditioning unit, hearing the satisfying ‘clang’s to assure him he’s hit his mark. The guards move towards the nail, and Karma waits for the sleeping gas to settle in. 

“Alright Karma, make sure to move away from there for a bit, because the gas might still get through your mask and you’re too heavy for us to carry back.” Gakushuu says.

“That just means you’re not strong enough,” Karma signs as he moves away.

“Ok Karma-san, that gas should take about 1 more minute to fully set in if they’re especially muscular, so wait until then before you move,” Okuda says.

“And make sure you move fast, because we’re going to have to wake them up fast enough that they don’t suspect anything,” Gakushuu adds.

Karma begins counting, and he pulls up his map of the room on his wearable video feed. He’s got a route planned out by the time he’s done counting, and begins to move again. The diamond was in a glass box, which Karma was about to break when it opened on its own. He gives a thumbs up to his camera, and quickly swaps his fake diamond with the real one.

“Good job, Karma. Just get out the way you came, and I’ll put everything back to how it was before. Okuda’s prepping a drone right now to administer the antidote to sleeping gas along with a light dose of something to encourage memory loss,” Gakushuu says.

“Easy,” Karma signs, and leaves. 

Not 5 minutes later, they’ve gathered in the van, and Gakushuu drives them back to their base while Okuda analyses the diamond to ensure it’s the real one.

“I could have handled those guys, you know?” Karma says. “This was such an anti-climactic mission, since Teyzo canceled the need for assassinating that guy.”

“Even if you _did_ get to assassinate him, it would have been really quiet, since we were planning on using aconite,” Gakushuu retorts.

“But _stillll_ , this just turned into some sort of _heist_ , and not even one at a bank or something. This was just at some old guy’s house.”

“But a mission’s a mission, and there’s no room for you to question those orders,”

“Baby, questioning orders is _what I do_ , my whole career started from it!” 

“No. No it didn’t.”

Karma pouts as Gakushuu pulls into the garage and sends Korosensei a full report of the mission. 

“Ok!” Okuda says, “I’ve confirmed that this is definitely real. I can see why it’s so precious though, the clarity and cut is _incredible_!” 

“So then how much is Teyzo paying for it?” Karma asks. 

“He paid $10 000 as down payment and he says he’ll give us half of the profits when he sells it,” Gakushuu responds.

“But he’s obviously running off with the money, right?” Karma says. “There’s no way he’d stick around after he’s gotten what he wanted.”

“That’s why Korosensei stuck a few trackers on him, and why our next mission is to lead some police officers to where he’s headed, incapacitate him, and have the officers return the diamond to the bank.”

“Aw shit, that’s so much work for what? 10% of 10 000, so only 1000?”

“Oh well. We’ve already established that Korosensei’s morals are why he’s flat broke.”

“Hmm… do you think we could maybe get Tayzo to run to that new diner? I still want that milkshake, you know.”

And Gakushuu just laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a lot faster than I thought I would, so... big props to me (lmao). I do definitely plan on more Gakushuu fanfics that are more relationship-centric though, so please look forward to that! (I have so many ideas and no time to write them ughhh)


End file.
